My Story
by LilLilGirl
Summary: Raven's starting to feel things for her best friend, a boy we all know and love. Find out if she gets the guy she loves. R
1. Chapter 1

**Ok.. this is a true story that is still going on now. I wrote this trying to express some bottled up emotions that I have. In this story I am Raven. Sorry if it's not typed well, I wasn't planning on putting it on this site, but when I finally decided to put it here I didn't want to change it, so yup.. You can go ahead and read now..**

I love Beast Boy. I've known this for three months now. All summer I have been tortured with the fact that he doesn't love me back. Two months before summer started I had my heart broken by Malchior. I thought we loved each other, until I found out he'd used me, made me a fool. When I first defeated him I was emotionless, stable. It only took a few days for it to sink in and break me down. I told none of the others on the team about my unfortunate heart break. It still makes me sick just thinking about him, who knows if that wound will ever heal.

Right after Malchior, Beast Boy needed help catching the attention of the girl he liked. Since he's my best friend I gladly wanted to help him out. I told him to be confident and just ask her out. He went on and on about her days on end. I told him if he didn't ask her I would for him. He really didn't want that so the next day he went and asked her and they became a happy couple. The happy couple didn't last though. They both got jealous, Beast Boy would spend too much time with us, and she would spend too much time with her best guy friend. They cut it off leaving Beast Boy's heart wounded just as mine had been. For there was one thing that we had in common with both our break ups but we would never admit even to ourselves, we still loved them.

I decided to comfort Beast Boy because I knew what it felt like. As I was comforting him I started to grow a small crush on him. I told myself I was delusional and needed to clear my head of such thoughts. We had just gotten over heart breaks and didn't need to be thrown into a whole new relationship. I started spending more time with him, talking to him more, and sitting closer just so we could be together more. Everyday my emotions for him grew. Every time he laughed I felt lighter, I knew I was falling hard with no way to stop my feelings. Beast Boy started planning a trip to his old team; they were having trouble with one of their old villains. They figured it would last about all summer, so everyone started helping Beast Boy pack. Even through the entire ruckus he and I spent more time together. Finally he only had a week and two days before leaving. I was, by that time, madly in love with him and couldn't even bear the thought of him going away for that long. I knew I needed to tell him my feelings or else I'd go crazy from love and regret. I hanged out with him all day, leaving his side only for an hour or so.

We were talking about everything and nothing just laughing and happy. He asked me who I liked and I was shocked so I stammered and said, "No one really," but mentally slapped myself. I asked him who he liked and he named two girls that he sort of liked. I really wanted him to know I liked him so I told him I only liked one guy. He started poking me and asking me who the lucky guy was and I played along saying I wasn't sure if I should tell him. He told me I could trust him so I looked at him and said, "You." He laughed and said that was cute so I laughed along, dyeing on the inside.

Later we were on the computer and I was watching him play games and I worked up the nerve to ask him if he liked me. He didn't answer for a minute so I thought he hadn't heard me, I was about to repeat myself when he said, "There are people I like, and people I have a crush on."

"Which am I then?" I asked slowly, not sure I wanted to know the answer.

"Someone I like, you're my best friend."

.

"Someone I like, you're my best friend."

.

"You're my best friend."

.

"You're my best friend."

That's all I heard for the next few days. I kept on a happy face so he couldn't see my disappointment. I still spent a lot of time with him.

Finally it was his last day, he would be leaving at noon and make it to his old team at around 9 p.m. At noon everyone gathered around him saying they'd miss him and gave him a big hug, Starfire almost crushed him. I walked him up to the top of the tower, and gave him a long tight hug, telling him I'd miss him. We joked around, I told him if he didn't keep in contact I'd hunt him down, and he laughed just as he turned into a bird and took off.

**If you'd like to read more please give me a review, all you gotta say is more and I'll get ya. Again this is an ongoing true story so I have no idea where it's going I'm just writing by what happens and what I feel. Maybe the next chapter will be written a little better and not from the point of view where it has already happened. Anyways thanks for reading please R&R.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Don't kill me please! Sorry for the late update and the short chapter but I'll try to get better. **

Privacy, isolation, seclusion, desolation, and loneliness all words I hate – no, fear now, where before I would strive for solitude I now would rather be around my friends. When I'm alone I think, when I think I wonder. I hate thinking what if, what if I annoy him, what if he hates me.. I try to busy myself as best I can; reading, writing, talking to the others, and traveling.

Thankfully we traveled a lot this summer. Every time we got home we'd have to leave again. Titans everywhere were needing help, or just wanted us to check out their progress on cleaning up their city. It was pretty calm here in Jump City so Robin decided that it wouldn't be a bad idea to check up on everyone.

Even as busy as we were I could never escape night. At night it's quiet, and my heart just couldn't handle to think. So every night I listen to music, most the time music with no words just so I don't have to think about their meaning.

I felt alone, I couldn't tell anyone without sounding melodramatic. I talk a little with Starfire; she thinks he isn't the right guy for me. Cyborg thinks he's not my type, and Bee basically told me that I'll never love anyone. Of course they all said these things much nicer but I could read their emotions..

I tried to talk to Beast Boy, just as a friend and see if he was doing well with his team, but it was difficult. None of us have cell phones, so the only way to contact each other is through our communicators. I tried to call him a few times, but he rarely had his communicator with him. And when he did call me it was only at late hours. I would stay up late just to see if he would call. Always hoping that he might start to change his mind about how he feels.

I hate the feeling of being love sick. Even reading made me sad at times. Movies were just as bad, always with a happy ending. Endings just don't end happy in life. I've started to watch more horror whenever possible, at least they always end with you feeling scared for the future.

It was killing me on the inside not being able to talk about my feelings. I talked to my emotions a lot but they didn't help either. Even love wasn't her happy usual self, wisdom kept telling me to forget about it, find someone new. It's not that easy to stop a feeling once it's begun, it's like eating your favorite junk food. It's hard to quit eating it; it's possible to stop but only with massive forces of will power. What's sickening to me is that I let someone get so close that a simple sentence could destroy me. I've always had control over my emotions, never letting anyone in my emotional bubble. The few times I have it's always ended badly on my part.

**Hey guys sorry for the late update. It was hard to find the time to write this. Sorry it's so depressing :/ but I hope you enjoyed it. Please R&R, tell me how I'm doing, and I'll try to update sooner from now on.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys, thanks for your reviews, sorry the last chapter was so depressing. Now please remember that this story is **_**based on true events**_**. So while I love, love, love it when you give me your idea's I just want to give you fair warning that I most likely won't be able to put them in this story. Ok, so now that we have covered that, I wanted to know if you guys would like to know some of the music I listened to when I went through that last chapter. If you would like me to put some of the songs that described my feelings and helped me through those times just write music please in the reviews and I'll get what you mean. Ok, sorry for all the jabber, go ahead and read your story now..**

Around the middle of August I got a letter talking about teen heroes' camp. Bruce Wayne was sponsoring it on a secluded island and a lot of top heroes would be coming to help teach. And while all the teens are gone from their cities Bruce said he would pay to put more police on guard so that nothing would become of our beloved homes.

We would be separated into what position we have in our team or our individual work so I wouldn't be with anyone I really knew. I was going to decline the offer but realized I had nothing else to do and it might get my mind off things. Everyone was very excited, talking about everyone they'd meet and how much fun they would have, and I started to get a little excited, too. With the letters came a sheet to fill out where each of us fit on the team. There were eight different positions you could be: the leader, the technician or good with computers, the muscle, the motivator, the token female, the care giver, the weapons master, or the comedian. When we first read this we all laughed, because we each saw a perfect spot for us each. The sheet said we are to choose two of the categories that fit us; you were to put a one by the one that fit us most. We all talked about it and decided on: Robin as leader and weapons master, Cyborg as technician and motivator, Starfire as motivator and token female, me as care giver and motivator, and we signed up Beast Boy, just in case, as comedian and muscle.

A week later and we had all our bags packed in the T-Car ready to go to this four day camp. We had called BB a few times to see if he would be able to come and he called the day before saying he was sorry but they were working hard and he couldn't take the time off to come. He sounded like he was doing good and seemed really disappointed that he was missing out on the fun. When I heard him tell us he wouldn't be able to come I was a little sad, somewhere I was hoping I could see him again. But I shoved this feeling deep down because I had decided that I would be happy on this trip. We all climbed in the car getting ready for an hour car ride to our selected airport. It would only take about twenty minutes for the plane to take us to the island and from there we would get our schedules and what cabins we would be in. So I started up a conversation with Starfire to pass the time. The boys talked of seeing Batman and we talked of the Alexandria Disease. Everyone was laughing and having fun when it was finally time to get on the plane.

Once we got the island, I think they called it Aitutaki, after a while of waiting around we all finally got our schedules.

6:00 a.m. Wake Up

7:00 a.m. Breakfast

8:00 a.m. Short Outdoor Training

9:00-11:00 a.m. Care Giver class

11:30 a.m. Lunch

1:00 p.m. Shows

2:00 p.m. Team Games

4:00 p.m. Motivator Class

5:00 p.m. Talk with the Supers

6:00-7:30 p.m. free time

8:00-9:00 p.m. Team Spirit

9:00-10:30 p.m. free time

11:00 p.m. Lights out

The schedule seemed alright and with comparison with the others I only had my Motivator Class with Cyborg, besides the group activities that included everyone. They gathered everyone into the auditorium and started telling us our teams and cabins. Each team would have about ten people. There would be four colors and two teams every color. So there were two teams of red, blue, purple, and yellow. I ended up being on the red team with Kid Flash, Kole, and Jericho. The rest of the kids I didn't really know. After everyone's teams were together I found out I'd be in a cabin with Starfire, Jinx, Bee, Argent, Kole, and two kids I don't know. I was happy with the sleeping arrangements and Starfire was overjoyed. She said she would try to get us top bunks right next to each other before anyone could take them and I just nodded and gave her a thumbs up. I think this camp is going to be fun and help me get back on track.

**Ok I know, I know this chapter wasn't the best. It was more of a filler chapter to kind of tell you what's happening. The next chapter will hopefully be a lot more fun to read (and write). I would like to thank Lunar Silver, TakeonMe-Mow, directener 28, jenn4794, teeroy766, js12601, Gravityfalls2, La Vixen de Amor, Lobsterbread, Mst28, The Blade of Blood, and everyone who has taken the time to even click on my story, for your ideas and support. Ok please R&R, remember music please, and extra points for whoever knows (or looks up) the Alexandria Disease (Is it just me or does it seem to almost describe Raven) :D. **


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